I am alive, alive, ALIVE!!

Well after a harrowing 48 hours locked in the auditorium at the Grove after the retreat, hitchhiking home in my black dress, loosing my way and nearly falling in an empty canal I have made it home!


Actually, I should tell you the truth. My mind was numbed beyond comprehension and I haven't been able to function correctly since the morning of 12/08. What is a blog? How do you drive a stick shift? What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen Swallow? Oh.. so.. confused...


I seem to keep getting calls for Pizza Hut on my blog... I'm going to have to get that fixed. What did I miss while I was in a sales-induced coma?

(no honestly it was pretty interesting this time around--my disclaimer if anyone from work decides to pop in for a visit...)

Out of Office Assistant says....

Hi, you've reached the desk of Fiona. I will be out of the office until Monday December 12th participating in huggy happy company meetings. If you need immediate assistance please post a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

I must warn you I will be having way to much fun to even think about blogging (chuckle, snort, gaffaw, lie.) So please leave a message after the beep.

BEEP.




Me for the next few days--->

Oh Dane...

You are wonderful and as fabulous as ever. You made me laugh at SNL for the first time in eight years. You are a god. I now can add to my repertoire: "Rock and Roll Quotes," "The Effeminate Theater Guy" and "Itchy Sweater Freak!"


Ok James Blunt? Was that his name? Loved his music but he was a little scary! I think his eyes were boring a hole right through my TV screen to me! Aack! He was watching me, I know.


Oh and I love how SNL now has two female Weekend Update anchors! FINALLY, way to get with the times!

Also, Dane, loved your new bits in your opening stand-up bit.

Cheers!

i'm GUMBY dammit!

"I'd like to see........ TWO bricks being smashed togevah!"


You are a Gumby! You like to smash bricks and say
things that no-one can understand...



Ok I'd like to thank Duck from the bottom of my heart for this one. How fitting! How Perfect! What is your Monty Python Personality????

"I object to all this sex on the television! I mean-I keep falling off!"

The Church of Dane Meeting Minutes

Ok all you dreamers out there listen up: His Holiness Dane Cook will be appearing on Saturday Night Live -tomorrow (Saturday-go figure) and this will be the perfect opportunity to gleam new material for our bag o' phrases and Cook-Lingo. But if he sucks... Well, I don't know what. So watch it. I expect a full report of how the new material will fit into your repertoire on Monday morning.

• The money plate has gone around and is hoping to be filled... We'll buy shoes with the money and wear them to our Christmas mass.
• I've set the Jesits out, the Croutons D' Christ and the Christchex are in the cupboard help yourself.
• *This Saturday we will have a head-blood emptying seminar. Wear your grubby clothes and learn the family tradition.
• *Her Royal Highness Weezie would like to announce that official membership of the Church O' Dane is up from 9 to 11 members.
• *If you haven't picked up the New Testes-ament "Retaliation" you can do so at your local Best Buy.

Peace.